Safety First
In ‘The Devil’s Condom’ by Fred Zackel, a man makes a deal with the Devil and learns too late that some agreements really are binding.
Enjoy this excerpt from Issue 8, Autumn 2015.
The Devil’s Condom
by Fred Zackel
The Devil was hung over one Sunday morning at the Foxboro Café in Massachusetts, and Willie Johnson came up and stuck a gun in his ribs.
“Oh, hi, Willie. Pull up a chair. How ya doing?”
Willie took the seat opposite. “I want my money. You owe me.”
“I do, I do. Who would have thought the Pats could pull it off in the final three seconds?”
“I picked them to win.”
“And I lost fair and square,” said the Devil.
“So you got my money?”
The Devil stood, started digging in his pockets, dumping the stuff out on the café tabletop. Keys, coins, a pocket knife with a real bone handle, his wallet, a handkerchief, more loose change, a small notebook, a ballpoint pen, another set of keys …
And a couple packs of wrapped and unused condoms.
Willie laughed. “The Devil wears condoms?”
“Safety first, Willie.” He got conspiratorial. “Do you have any idea how many women want to bear the Devil’s daughter? Or his son? Why, having the Anti-Christ as your kid makes them think they’re special.”
Willie grunted as he examined the condoms closely.
The Devil raised his coffee mug. “Barmaid, more ale!”
To find out what happens next, pick up your copy of Issue 8, Autumn 2015!
And for your chance to appear in the pages of Pulp and on the blog, enter the Bumblebee Flash Fiction Contest, open now until February 15th!
Fred Zackel is the author of Cocaine & Blue Eyes, Murder in Waikiki, and Turn Left at Paradise, among other novels and short fiction (available at Amazon.com). He teaches Canadian Fiction and American Literature at Bowling Green State University in Ohio. His quirky satirical short ‘Snow White is Mine!’ appeared in Issue 3 of Pulp Literature.
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