Throwback Thursday: ‘Spin Doctor’ by Susan Pieters

Susan Pieters is addicted to writing flash fiction with the Pulp Literature team during the Hour Stories sessions, using the meditation and prompt cards created by Dale Adams Segal. Steeped in tea and words, they encourage each other to write boldly and explore new literary delights. ‘Spin Doctor’ is one such delicious brew. Enjoy this excerpt from Pulp Literature Issue 22, Spring 2019.

Spin Doctor 

I swivelled in my ergonomic chair, adjusted the tilt lever so I met him at eye level. “Well, James, my charge for initial visits is two thousand dollars.”

My prospective patient gaped wider than his open wallet. “What? That wasn’t on your website.”

There were a lot of facts of life that never appeared on a website, but I didn’t bother mentioning that to him. “Cash or credit?”

“Are you kidding me? You think I carry that much cash around?” James had his finger on his credit card, but he wasn’t pulling it loose. “That’s too much money.” 

Oh, dear. I hadn’t taken him for the type who would revert to bargaining down my fees. “Well, James, the first lesson is the hardest. And my first lesson begins here. You’re interpreting the facts all wrong.”

“Really.” He closed up his wallet, just when I thought he’d start listening. 

Okay. Time for the big guns. “The reason the first session costs more than the regular rate is this:  most people only need one session.”

His eyes ran over my desk, over my locked filing cabinet. “You mean they’re healed?”

“I mean they get what they came here for. In one session, most people get what they want.”

He stood up. His suit jacket was tight at the shoulders, his necktie looked like it had been knotted by a five-year-old. What was it with this guy? Most people who went by James instead of Jim were sharp dressers. He opened his mouth to speak; at least he had gold dental work. “Maybe your clients just never come back. Maybe they think it’s a bunch of crock, and are angry they’ve been swindled.”

I smiled. “Did you see angry reviews on any medical websites? Of course not. And didn’t you say you were referred to me by a previous client? Well, then.”

“But two grand? What could you say that is so amazing it will change my life in one hour?”

“Who said anything about an hour? I work in fifty-minute cycles. And we’ll need to make that forty-five for today, now we’ve wasted the first five minutes.”

He glanced at his chrome watch. My faith in him was returning; he was an analogue man. “Okay, okay.” He pulled out his plastic and I buzzed in my assistant, who had been at the ready. I never liked being the one to do the financial transactions. It ruined the image I wanted to convey of the guru seated calmly in a chair, neutral, demanding nothing and expecting nothing but a patient’s inner wisdom and healing, give or take a grand.

My administrator passed back the card. “All good.”

My client swallowed as he put his card back in his wallet. He folded the leather and put it into his pocket as if it was far lighter than it had been when he’d walked into my office.

But it was all an illusion.

To find out what happens next, pick up your copy of Issue 22, Spring  2019 here!

Susan Pieters is a short story and novel writer who was part of the founding team for Pulp Literature, and one of her stories can be found in almost every issue. Sue has an MA in English Literature, but considers her experience as editor for the magazine to have been worth far more than any diploma. She invites (nay, challenges!) other writers to join the party and get their feet wet by volunteering for the magazine. Sue promises that she’ll get her website up by the time you read this, really she will! Try her at susanpieters.com.