Throwback Thursday: ‘Family AGM’ by Susan Pieters

The mother speaks first. “I want to be chairman of the board this time. The kids are at a vulnerable age for role modelling and I don’t want to teach sexist patriarchy.”

The father shrugs. “Honey, you’ll have to wait until the end of the meeting. I got elected last time, so it’s my turn to run the meeting. This meeting will now come to order.”

Sammy pats his pull-up diaper. “Mommy, gotta go.”

The father shakes his head. “Can’t you wait until after the meeting? It will only take five minutes.”

The mother says, “Are you going to clean his diaper? He’s kept it clean for twenty-four hours. This could be a breakthrough in potty training.”

“If we call the meeting to order now, we can put in our report that as of this meeting, he’s no longer using diapers. We might get more funding.”

“What we should get more money for is Clara’s artwork. Everyone else in her class made a mess of their perspective drawing.”

“Have you recorded that in the list of accomplishments?”

“Clara, honey, go get your picture from the fridge and bring it here. We’ll need to attach it to the meeting notes.” 

Clara runs to get it, holds her drawing in front of the computer camera.

The father begins. “First order of business, we need to approve last year’s AGM minutes. Do we have a motion?”

“Ugh. Yes. Sammy’s gone poo. Now we can’t — ”

“Clara, thank you for raising your hand. And Sammy, you raised your hand, well done. We’ll record that you seconded the motion.”

The mother shakes her head. “He’s reaching to be picked up.”

The father folds his arms. “I can’t hold him with a full diaper.”

“Let’s adjourn so I can clean him up.”