Good for Ratings
How far would you go to keep eyes on your channel? Founding editor Susan Pieters wrote this spec fic short for Issue 6, Spring 2015. It seems even less far-fetched these days. Enjoy this excerpt from ‘Channel W’ below, or pick up one of the few remaining print copies of Pulp Literature Issue 6 for the throwback price of only $8 this month.
Channel W
Susan Pieters
Steve had on the wrong tie. “Wardrobe!” He stuck one arm up in the air like a drowning man, waiting to be sighted. The black mourning tie was for last week’s military casualty. This week they were on a winning streak. “Wardrobe! I need the blue tie. Or maybe the red tie. Damn, where’s my script?”
A sheaf of papers was thrust against him by a hand wrinkled beyond the assistance of age cream. She likely hadn’t ever used the stuff, Steve thought, seeing the sharp eyes behind her glasses. “We’re celebrating a victory in Karachi; we’ve released nine prisoners.”
“Yellow tie!” He hoped the right person would hear, or at least pass on the message.
“Camera in ten!”
“Your hair’s not right.” The hands that now neared his face were smooth and male, reaching to fluff up his hair. “If you’re going to be that sexy beach boy, you gotta look a little windswept. Can’t have a glowing tan with an uptight hairdo. Go for breezy.”
Steve cracked a smile.
“That’s what I’m talking about.” The smooth hands slapped his bottom and propelled him towards the stage. “Eight minutes.”
“Got the tie!” Three sets of hands descended on him, and then were gone. He looked down at his tie, golden with a sheen like clouds at sunset.
“Ready, Steve?”
He stopped skimming the pages in his hand. He’d seen enough to be able to read the rolling screen prompter. “Ready.”
“All right. The intro is rolling.”
An expensive male voice, older than Steve’s, boomed around the set as cameras held steady on Steve, who stayed motionless during the narrator’s nightly greeting. “Welcome to Summary at Seven, Channel W’s exclusive daily update, with anchorman Steve Plume. Our program is brought to you today by the National Arms Association, because it’s America’s right not just to bear arms, but to use them …”
Steve smiled at the camera as if in agreement. Breezy, he told himself.
“And now, welcome to Channel W’s daily summary of World War III events, from the only station that plays the war all day every day, Station W!”
Fake applause burst from the speakers and Steve nodded patiently as it died down.
“Welcome to Summary at Seven, I’m Steve Plume. Tonight we celebrate the storming of Karachi prison, where nine prisoners have been liberated from terrorist cells. Early reports list no American casualties, two enemy casualties, and four terrorist soldiers have been taken into custody. The prisoners released today have been held for three months.”
Steve allowed his smile to fade as the screen beside his prompter displayed the footage of this morning’s raid. Explosions blew noise and smoke around, and he paused for the screen to clear before finishing his reading.
Steve glanced from the prompter to the stack of pages sitting on his desk as backup. It was a thick sheaf. He tugged on the bottom of his golden tie. It was going to be a long night.
Find out what happens next in Pulp Literature Issue 6, Spring 2015, on sale now till the end of May!
Susan Pieters is one of Pulp Lit‘s three founding editors. She wrote ‘Chanel W’ his while obsessively listening to Stevie Wonder’s ‘All in Love is Fair’. To read more of Sue’s work, check out any of the first twenty-five issues of Pulp Literature.
Discover more from PULP Literature
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
Leave a Reply