‘Once Upon a Time in Camelot’ by GD Litke

At the breakfast table, Mom outlined her ‘I Love Jackie’ sign with a red felt marker and spooned Cheerios into her mouth between strokes of the pen. President Kennedy was coming to Dallas.

“I don’t see what all the fuss is about,” Dad said as he spread peanut butter on his toast. “Kennedy puts his pants on one leg at a time like the rest of us.” He took a bite and chewed thoughtfully, a twinkle in his eye. “Sometimes more than once a day, if you catch my drift.” 

Mom almost choked on her cereal. “You’re such a card.”

“That’s my job,” he chuckled. 

I was puzzled because that was not his job. He was a bartender in Mr Ruby’s nightclub, not a drifter or a card. 

Those were the facts. Like Detective Joe Friday on Dragnet would say, “Just the facts, ma’am, just the facts.” I never missed an episode, every Saturday at 7:00 p.m.

“Kennedy says we’ll have a man on the moon by the end of the decade,” Mom continued. “Isn’t that exciting?”

“Impossible,” Dad gruffed. “He’s a swell guy, but he’s a dreamer.”

“Grandma says the President is a liar,” I blurted. “She says the moon is in heaven and we can’t go there ’til we die.”

Mom looked at me as if I’d come home from school with a bloody nose again. “Oh, honey,” she sighed in her sweetest voice. “The President of the United States would never lie to people. Your grandma is just getting old.”

Someone in my family was not reporting the facts.