‘Hoax’ by Susan Pieters

Ed was just a guy in the wrong job at the wrong time. When he got the word that he was fired, he questioned it, as he questioned everything. 

“The Internet,” he was told, “is being shut down with the exception of essential services. Like medical stuff. No more banking, investments.”

Ed scoffed. He knew the real reason. They were leaking money faster than a fibre optic cable could break apart. 

“What about Netflix?” Ed asked.

“Essential service,” they replied. Deadpan. Without blinking.
 
He took his revenge in the middle of the night. In a world gone crazy, he lifted a photo of an army recruit with a shaved head and face, and made the post. “Army discovers bald men have higher resistance to COVID-19.”

He sourced the story through the usual anonymous channels: Instagram and Facebook sites that were no longer monitored properly due to the outbreak.

He laughed when, no pun intended, the story went viral. 

Men started shaving their heads. Gone were the big beards and lumberjack shirts. They were replaced with stark skinhead shines and smooth baby-bottom faces. 

The women started as well. Gone were all the long locks of hair. Scarves became popular, and tied-up bandanas, as if there had been a wave of chemotherapy patients.

People really believed him. Ed started to feel bad. So many shorn heads. Barbershops reopened as an essential service and had line-ups of people, spaced six feet apart, waiting to shed their hair. 

The at-home cuts were more noticeable and less even, but the patchy spotted-skull look became a trend. It became #patriotcut on Twitter, and photo threads exploded on Instagram. Medical doctors on YouTube encouraged haircuts as a sanitary antivirus measure. 

Ed couldn’t believe no one had tested this idea and reviled it publicly. He couldn’t believe people were fearful enough to embrace such a drastic action without proof. He realized how much people wanted to do something—anything—to stop the pandemic.

Then the last irony occurred.