‘Culinary Subjugation’ by Jakob Drud

It was Julia Child who said People who love to eat are always the best people. But as Jakob Drud shows us in ‘Culinary Subjugation’, those who love to eat aren’t always the best. They might, in fact, not even be people.

Tuck a napkin in your lapel, but look twice at your plate, before sampling this juicy excerpt from Issue 27, Summer 2020.

Culinary Subjugation

by Jakob Drud

Joseph Campton sent his resignation to the Preserve council while sitting in the corner booth farthest from the counter in Hu Wong’s diner. Then he packed away his Grid console and stirred the coffee, mixing low-fat milk and artificial sweetener into the brown liquid. The taste had a calming effect on his nerves, and he realized that Hu Wong had once again gotten his hands on real coffee beans. How he got them through the irradiated lands, or what place on Earth was still clean enough to grow quality Java, Campton couldn’t begin to guess.

Hu came over to the table, smiled, and asked, “Everything all right this morning, Mr Campton?”

“The coffee’s great, Hu.”

“Thank you, Mr Campton. It’s a pleasure to have you here.” Hu bowed and left for another table. 

Good as the coffee was, Hu Wong was the real reason Campton came here. Hu always conveniently forgot Campton’s title of food inspector, and sometimes his perfect manners even allowed Campton to forget the job himself.

Today the illusion burst despite Hu’s grace. Halfway through the coffee, Campton’s Grid console beeped. With rising anger, he read the council’s answer. 

“We regret to inform you that we cannot accept your resignation. The workforce in the Preserve is short-handed, and therefore we all have to bear our part of the burden. Furthermore, we forbid you to resign again. The Pitonians asked specifically for your services, and it is the opinion of the council that you affront them by not accepting the honour they bestow on you.”

He threw the Grid console into his briefcase and got up. Hu came over, shook his hand, and collected the tip Campton had left for him. 

“Would you believe that?” Campton said. “The Pitonians value my services.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Mr Campton.”

“Thank you, Hu. You’re too kind.”

To find out what happens next, pick up your copy of Pulp Literature Issue 27, Summer 2020 here!

Jakob Drud lives in Aarhus, Denmark, with his two children. He’s been writing for the last twenty years and has a passion for fiction that surprises, brings new insights, and makes him laugh. The fantastic genres are all that and more, so many of his stories are science fiction, fantasy, or something in between. Links to his stories can be found at jakobdrud.com, and you can find him on twitter as @jakobdrud, if tweets about writing and life are your thing.